Girlhood Page 8
Additionally, headlines from Guatemala and neighboring El Salvador and Nicaragua in recent years have often focused on migration: Record numbers of people, including children traveling on their own without parents or older relatives, have been leaving Central America, fleeing violence and poverty. Many of them head to the United States for asylum.68 In 2019, headlines in the United States and across the world were flooded with photos and stories of these migrants and the horrific and inhumane camps and conditions they faced at the border and upon crossing into the United States.
The adversities that many Guatemalans have fled are not reflected in the Guatemala you will see through Luciana’s eyes—not that any of the girls in this book are meant to represent all the voices, experiences, or stories of girls in their country or community. In a country with one of the highest rates of economic inequality in the region, poverty and violence coexist with more comfortable lives like Luciana’s.69 ◊
Monday, April 8, 2019
My day started as normal as usual. I woke up at 5:45, caught the bus at 6:30, and had a normal school day. When I got home, my plan was to go to my ballet class. However, my mom had scheduled an appointment with the ophthalmologist to make sure that everything was okay with my brother’s eyesight and my own. My mom had been wanting to take me for a while now, since I frequently have headaches. I figured it was from all the stress, due to the intensity of my past few weeks. Anyway, she took us to get examined. When we got to the clinic, I was confident about my eyesight, and that my mom was overreacting. I was wrong.
During my eye exam, I was shocked that I wasn’t able to recognize a small row of letters. I thought an F was a P, and a C was an O. The number row was even worse, as I couldn’t identify any of them confidently. Instead of being upset, however, I started laughing so much that I needed to dry my eyes to keep going. I was going to wear glasses and was kind of excited to choose them. In the process of trying them on, I kept laughing while thinking about how terrible and “nerdy” I looked. I knew my friends were going to tease me. My mom reassured me that all of that was a lie, but she’s my mom. So that’s her job. Anyhow, I went for a pair of red glasses. I liked them and decided to never let anyone influence that thought.
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Today I got the best news I could ask for. For the last year, my family has been going through some rough times. My aunt Denisse was diagnosed with cancer in July of 2018. Because of this, she had to spend most of her time away in Florida, where she was getting treatment. She went through chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation therapy, but thanks to all our prayers, she finally finished her treatment today. Denisse will return to Guatemala as a cancer-free woman! While waiting for the bus this morning, my brother and I sent an audio message congratulating her. I’m sure she received many similar ones. I spent the whole day looking at pictures of her last day at the hospital and colorful posts saying, “WE DID IT!”
My confirmation is coming up in a few weeks, and I’ve asked my aunt to be my godmother. I chose her because I believe she is a strong role model, and I admire her for who she is. I knew she would kick cancer’s butt, so I feel really happy to have her by my side during one of the most important days of my life. I have picked my dress and shoes, and am excited for this day to come. I’m worried about speaking, though. My mom signed me up to read a little excerpt in mass. I’ve done this before but always talk too fast or mess up. I hope I can pull it off. But that’s something to worry about tomorrow. Right now, I just feel blessed to enjoy this moment with my family, and I keep praying that we won’t have to face this struggle ever again.
Friday, April 12, 2019
I LOVE surprise birthday parties!
I guess it’s probably because I’ve enjoyed my own so much. When I turned 15, my family and close friends threw a surprise for me. On my birthday, they woke me up with confetti, Silly String, presents, and a group of mariachis singing “Los Mañanitas.” I was so excited, and never expected it! On top of the morning celebration, there was a surprise party I was unaware of. Two days later, my whole family and a large group of friends, everybody singing “Happy Birthday.” I had the most amazing time and will always remember it.
I remembered this because I went to my friend’s surprise party today and was one of the last people to leave. After having lunch at the restaurant, we headed over to another friend’s house. As the hours passed, there were fewer of us left. When we were only 4 and the sun was down, we stayed in the middle of the golf course singing our hearts out. I had the best time, surrounded by my best friends.
Thank you to Girl Up for connecting me with Luciana.
Mandisa
18 years old
Durban, South Africa
What are your favorite subjects in school?
English, life sciences, dramatic arts, history, and geography
What do you like doing when you’re not at school?
I love spending time chilling at home, watching a comedy movie with my family, and sharing some jokes.
Tell us about your friends.
My friends’ names are Thobeka and Minenhle. We are in the same grade and in the same class. When we are together we share jokes and they share their experiences in life, about how they have made mistakes and learned from them. We also do our homework together after school because we enjoy each other’s company.
“My number one dream is to be a lawyer: I want to be an independent woman, I want to be my own woman and be self-made,” says Mandisa.
She lives in KwaMashu township in Durban, South Africa, with her mother, sister, two nieces, and two nephews. She’s been raised by her mother, who is a single parent and mother of four children, two of whom have passed away.
In addition to law, Mandisa is also considering becoming a social worker or a nurse, but‘ this all depends on how well she does on her matric, or matriculation, which is the equivalent in South Africa of a high school diploma.
Mandisa hopes that when she grows up, she can “fulfill my mother’s dream of living in a big house where she can have her own room, sleep on her own bed, have everything in her room that she needs, and have a fully furnished kitchen where she can cook and enjoy her kitchen.”
After fulfilling her mother’s dream, “it will be my turn,” Mandisa says, “to fufill my dreams of having a house, car, but not just any house, the kind of house I want and the kind of car I want.” ◊
While Mandisa shares her hopes and dreams, she also writes about a classmate whose plans were thwarted when she got pregnant. Her friend had to drop out of school, and she faced a lot of shame and judgment from her community.
This type of shame, which young mothers across the world are often subjected to, can affect whether they stay in school, what types of jobs and other future opportunities might be available to them, and how much support they can seek from their communities.
And while the shame young mothers face is specific, girls and women across cultures and continents are taught shame from an early age: shame about their bodies, their ambition, their sexuality, and the space they occupy in the world. In English, we even have a vocabulary of shame: slut shaming, body shaming, walk of shame, and more.
In some parts of Africa—the continent with the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the world, according to the United Nations70—the shame and stigma of being a teen mother has been written into the law, limiting the opportunities and support available to them. For example, until 2020, in Tanzania, Equatorial Guinea, and Sierra Leone, pregnant girls or young mothers are banned from going to government-run schools.71
Pregnancy can literally be the end of a girl’s education, as was almost the case with Mandisa’s friend. But South Africa is one of twenty-six African countries that has laws in place to help young mothers return to school after giving birth, and the government provides social and financial support for teenage moms.72 Despite the law, the judgment and disdai
n from adults and organizations in the community can keep teen moms out of school.
“They won’t be forced to drop out of school, there is a legislation, but it’s just their own stigma and also maybe parents feel ashamed for their child going to school and pregnant, so they will then encourage them not to go to school or the girl herself will feel like she does not fit in any longer because there’s stigma and other children will mock her,” explains Mpendulo Nyembe, the executive director of uMthombo, an organization in Durban that works with youth. ◊
Tuesday
Dear Diary,
I woke up at 6:15 a.m. I was running late but prepared to go to school and was ready at 7:15. I didn’t have breakfast, because if I had, I would have been late, but I walked fast to school and I wasn’t late. Today I was looking forward to the presentation in history. Ten students were supposed to read [about] a new topic and analyze and tell the class what they learnt.
When I went to class today, I met up with my friends and had a morning talk before the class started, where we discussed our homework and saw how we wrote it. If you wrote something wrong, we corrected each other by showing you the steps and making you understand.
The day went on great and drama was the last period. We practiced until 3:00 p.m. and it was worth it. It was very fun, group members practicing the scene work.
Then I came back home, did my chores, and wrote my homework. After that, I watched a TV series and went to bed at 9:00 p.m.
Wednesday
Dear Diary,
I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and prepared to go to school, made my bed and I was ready at 7:00 a.m., had breakfast and finished at 7:15 and went to school. Reached school at 7:35 and an assembly was full of pupils and teachers talking to them on what was going to happen for the day.
Today I was looking forward to drama practice as we were going to learn new moves on movement and some of the group members changed their individual piece and some changed their scene work. I was looking forward to saying my individual piece today. When I did my individual piece, our instructor said I did it well and I should keep it up and practice more.
I spent time with my friends after the second period when the teachers went to a meeting. We sat and talked about how life is and the challenges they have faced. While we were talking some of our classmates engaged in our conversation, and one of them told us about her mistake when she fell pregnant and they chased her out of her home and the father of the child said that the baby wasn’t his. She had nowhere to go when her aunt told her to come to her house and stay with her, but she had to drop out of school because she was pregnant and had to give birth before she went back to school. Life was tough for her at that time because she was doing grade 11 and passed for grade 12 and it got delayed. Luckily for her after she gave birth to her baby, her aunt sent her to school to continue her studies and finish matric [secondary school qualifications] and they accepted her at school. Now the lesson I learnt was don’t do something you will regret later and might cost you big time.
My day today was very good, got to hear people sharing their stories and how difficult life is and I learnt something from them. When I got home today everything was done and we all sat down and watched TV series and drank some hot tea and watched a movie because it was cold and it was raining. I went to bed very early, it was 8:00 p.m.
Thursday
Dear Diary,
Today I woke up at 6:00 a.m. as usual and prepared to go to school. I was ready at 7:00 and had no breakfast today. I drank tea and went to school; at least I drank some tea. Reached school at 7:30 and went to the assembly, our principal announced that home time will be early today because our teachers were preparing for the Easter holidays and some of them were going to church.
You know, I was looking forward to the life science class today because we were supposed to finish the topic and start a new one. So, school ended at 11:30 a.m. today, but I didn’t go home, I only went home at 1:30 p.m. because we had to stay back for our rehearsals and they went on very well. No one was arguing with anyone, everything went smoothly.
When I came back home, I put on my high heels and practiced some modeling as I enjoy doing it every once in a while because I love modeling so much. I just enjoy it, but I had to put it on hold because I am doing matric and it would have added some stress and I try to avoid stress every chance I get, because I’m always laughing and making people around me laugh, so if I’m stressed, who’s going to make them laugh?
I can just say today was just a day, a normal day, nothing exciting about it, now as they say, every day is different. I went to bed at 10:00 p.m. because I don’t have to go to school tomorrow because Easter holidays are starting.
Thank you to uMthombo for connecting me with Mandisa.
Marta
14 years old
Milan, Italy
Tell us about your family.
My mum’s name is Guendalina and she’s a social worker. My dad’s name is Fabrizio and he works in a hotel: he is a chef. I have a sister, Constanza, she is 6 years old, and she’s in the first year of elementary school. I have a brother, Matteo, he is 11 years old. He’s in the last year of elementary school.
What do you want to do when you grow up?
I would like to become a surgeon when I grow up, but I’m not sure.
What are your hobbies?
When I’m not studying, I go out with my friends or I play with my brother and sister or I watch TV.
Marta started high school this year. It’s been an adjustment so far: “I get on well with both my classmates and my professors, but I still have to get used to, and learn to, get better organized for studying,” she explains.
Marta lives in Milan with her parents and her younger brother and sister. She is also close to her extended family and writes about the time she spends with her cousins and aunt and uncles. She writes in her diary about spending time with her family in Rome, a welcome break from a stressful school year.
Most of Marta’s days are spent at school—she goes to a science high school and her favorite subject is math. One of the biggest adjustments in this new school has been making friends.
“As of now I haven’t established great friendships,” she says. She has known most of her closest friends her entire life—she met her best friends Carola in the first grade and Margherita in nursery school.
She’s also close to her cousin Bianca. “She’s 15 years old,” Marta says, “I’ve known her since I was born. We often fight but nevertheless, I love her very much.”
But in a new school without her old friends, she has to find new ones. ◊
Marta lives in Milan, the second largest city in Italy, after Rome. It’s the country’s financial and cultural hub and is known for its vibrant fashion industry. In addition to hosting one of the big global fashion weeks every year, Milan is home to about 90 museums, more than 190 art galleries, and nearly 60 theaters and concert halls. Nearly 189,000 creative workers are based in Milan, as are about half of Italy’s publishing houses.73
The city’s economy is also centered on tech, design, and innovation. A significant amount of foreign investment drives growth and development in Milan, and the city is set to host the Winter Olympics in 2026.74
Monday, March 4, 2019
Today was an easy day. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. because I wanted to revise [study] for the epic oral test [epic is a subject involving the study of epic poems like the Iliad or Odyssey]. I got up from my bed at 7:50 a.m. and I managed to take the bus by the skin of my teeth! I started school at 8:15 a.m. In the first hour I had epic, and luckily I wasn’t quizzed! But she said she will do the oral test tomorrow . . .
Then I had Latin, but I revised for the science oral test because today is 4th and she always gives the oral test to the person whose surname corresponds to the day and . . . I’m the 4th! Later I did English and after, in the last hour, I did s
cience and she didn’t quiz me. Today the science teacher, strangely, didn’t use her method to decide who would do the oral test, but picked 3 random people.
After that I had lunch at the school bar with my classmates, because we organized to remain at school to revise math, in order to prepare ourselves for the test. We started studying at 2:30 p.m. and continued until 6:00 p.m. Then I went home. I was feeling a little bad so I measured my temperature and I had 37.2°C [99°F]. I tried to continue to study both for math and epic but I was not able to; I was feeling too sick so I went to bed. Tomorrow I have the math test and I hope to do it well.
Saturday, March 9, 2019
Today I returned to Milan. I’m a bit sad because I wanted to stay in Rome some more. I had a lot of fun: every day my aunt Betty and I had a walk in the neighborhood, and then we returned home and after that, she helped me with my homework. In the remaining hours we sat at the table talking about everything that came to mind. I really needed those days with her . . . because this first year of high school is destroying me.
Yesterday night, I, my aunt Betty, my cousin, and my uncles went out for dinner in a Chinese restaurant; it was very funny, I liked spending that night with them so much.
Today I left Rome at 2:00. My aunt Betty and my uncle Carlo accompanied me to the station, and I arrived in Milan at 5:00, where my dad and my sister picked me up. After that I spent the evening playing with my sister and watching TV. They were unforgettable days. I had a lot of fun and I hope I didn’t annoy my uncles too much. I can’t wait until school finishes in order to be able to see my uncles and my cousin again. Only 89 days left!