Girlhood Page 10

  Naya

  16 years old

  Berlin, Germany, and Damascus, Syria

  What are your favorite subjects?

  I am really interested in the natural sciences, specifically biology and physics.

  What do you like to do with your friends?

  We go to the gym, do homework together, and we try new foods together.

  Do you have any hobbies?

  Other than traveling, I love being artistic and creative through painting and dancing. I have gone to street dance classes for 3 years.

  When Naya was thirteen years old, her parents decided to leave their home in Damascus, Syria, and head to Germany.

  “I did not want to leave my home country, my friends, my room, and most of my possessions,” Naya remembers. “I did not see the problem as my parents saw it. I always had the dream that I would graduate in Syria and go through all of my school years with my friends.”

  Her family left Syria because of the ongoing war. Since 2011, hundreds of thousands of people have been killed or injured, and millions—like Naya’s family—have had to flee for their safety, as their homes and hometowns were turned into battlefields.

  For Naya, moving away from home meant not only feeling sad about leaving behind friends, family, and a familiar life, it also meant adjusting to life in a new country—and the many changes and challenges that came along with it.

  Naya, who grew up speaking and learning Arabic, remembers that, at first, she didn’t want to move to Germany because she was worried about learning a new language. And, she adds, she didn’t even like the German soccer team!

  “The first year was a bit stressful and rough, as I could not speak English well enough to socialize confidently. So, I avoided many social interactions and focused on my studies,” Naya said. “Unlike most people who immigrated to Germany, I did not repeat any grades, which was beneficial, but also challenging.”

  Her parents had to deal with change, too. They worked in accounting and business management in Syria, but they are now taking various courses, and her dad is a part-time tax advisor.

  But now, Naya says, Berlin feels like home. ◊

  When people flee their homes because of war, violence, or persecution, they are called refugees. According to official data, there are more than six million Syrian refugees in the world.

  The story of refugees is a defining narrative of our time—there are 26 million refugees worldwide.84 Many of them—13 million—are children.85 The reasons refugees leave their home countries could include war or violence that make life dangerous, or because they have a well-founded fear they could experience violence because of their race, ethnicity, sexuality, or political or religious beliefs.

  News stories in recent years have featured the struggles refugees sometimes face while fleeing for safety: long lines of families walking hundreds of miles through the desert, people on overcrowded rafts sailing across the Mediterranean Sea to safety in Europe, and communities living in refugee camps with no certainty for the future and no country or city to call home.

  Every migrant and refugee family’s journey is different, and not all involve the most trying physical journeys we see in the headlines. But all refugees, displaced people, and asylum seekers have one thing in common: they had to leave home because home was no longer safe. ◊

  April 8, 2019

  Dear Diary,

  Today, I woke up at 7 a.m., kind of late but I still had half an hour to eat something and get ready for another week of school. Sadly, I did not have time to enjoy a cup of tea. It was not an ideal morning, because when I have to hurry up in the morning, I can’t take the time to wake up properly and then I get sleepy during the day. So for that reason, I was not excited to go to school, especially since it is Monday, like honestly who does not hate Mondays.

  But it is a start of the last week before break, I couldn’t wait until the day was over. Four more days till break; I hope it passes by quickly. I started off the day by evaluating some economic policies that deal with unemployment in economics class. It was not a bad lesson, it was more a chill lesson as we were discussing and expressing our opinions on the issue. Then followed three hours of English, it is the most boring lesson on earth; 3 hours of listening and concentrating on The Great Gatsby. I am happy that I only have English once a week. I started to get sleepier as the English teacher continued talking and talking. I just could not concentrate anymore. Half the day was over by then, but I still had 2 hours of biology. It is actually the best subject; I really enjoy it and always look forward to it. We discussed the causes and consequences of global warming, which is a crucial problem that we need to consider. Then I got the chance to see my friends and have lunch together. It feels good to share with friends how the day went.

  I was really happy that I got the chance to enjoy some sunlight today, so that is a reason to enjoy the rest of the week, if it would stay nice and warm.

  After finishing biology at 1:30 p.m., I went home. I had no energy nor motivation to do anything. I just wanted to eat and sleep but at the same time, I have lots of work to do.

  April 9, 2019

  Dear diary,

  Today I woke up at 7 a.m., as late as yesterday. I woke up feeling jealous of the people who start school later because they can sleep in longer. I was not excited for the day, as it is the longest day of the week: from 8 a.m. till 6:30 p.m. with no free periods in between. It is also the most scientific day of the week, which was this time a headache more than a relief. The weekend was so frustrating that by today I have no energy, no motivation, and can’t be efficient anymore.

  I started off the day at 8 a.m. by doing a German quiz that I prepared for last minute, but I think it went well; we will see how it goes. Then I had 2 hours of maths, which was boring, but surprisingly we finished a whole chapter in these 2 hours. Then followed 3 hours of physics and 2 hours of biology.

  But before I could go home, I had street dance. I love going to street dance as I love socializing with the street dance group and it is a fun and hyperactive class. So I finished at 6:30 p.m. and started to pack my stuff to head home. After street dance, I felt so energetic. Yet, I did not have the motivation to work on the IOC [Individual Oral Commentary, an important exam for high school students], because I find it really hard. I stayed at school with some people who are in my physics class and we discussed random quantum mechanic theories that do not make any sense to us at the moment. We also complained about school and discussed some random topics for about an hour or so. Then I really had to get home, even though I wanted to continue the discussion, because it helped me get out all of the negative energy I had and I was glad that I am not the only person struggling with finishing the IOC. So I went home, showered and had dinner with my family and then at 8:30 I started working on finishing my IOC. By then it was post 10 p.m. and I felt so tired and I directly went to get ready to sleep.

  Thank you to Girls Gearing Up for connecting me with Naya.

  Raksa

  19 years old

  Phnom Penh, Cambodia

  Tell us about your friends.

  Most of the time when I am with friends, we like talking about how our lives will come to be in the next five years. Sometimes, my friends and I love cooking food together. I feel bored without them. We have known each other since we were in secondary school and right now we are college students, so we became best friends. They are Phanit, Sreyleak, Chenad, Daneth, and Seyma.

  Tell us about your family.

  My father is a tuk-tuk driver and my mother is a domestic helper. I am very close with my mother. I share all my good and bad news with her; she knows everything about me. I only share good news with my father. However, I love them in equal measure. My parents moved to Phnom Penh when I was 2 to earn a living.

  Who did you live with when your parents left?

  I was left to live with my grandpar
ents in the province. Living with my grandparents is a very joyful memory for life. They treated me like a princess; they sent me to school in the village, and took the best care of me. Besides their farming work, they spent time teaching me basic literacy in addition to my education at school.

  Raksa is a university student in Cambodia’s capital city of Phnom Penh. She grew up in the countryside, living in a village in the Prey Veng province with her grandparents.

  When she was just two years old, Raksa’s parents left their village for Phnom Penh to earn a living—her father as a tuk-tuk driver and her mother as a domestic helper. Since then, her parents and younger brother have lived in the city, and until recently Raksa only saw them when they visited their hometown.

  “Being separated from your parents for a very young kid is very miserable experience,” she says. “I remember the feeling that I was waiting for their visit twice a year during Khmer New Year and Pchum Ben [a Cambodian religious festival], and how hard I cried as a kid every time they went back to the city.”

  Now, Raksa has made her own version of her parents’ journey. She also came to the city for a better life, but instead of working a job, she won a scholarship to a university.

  She lives in a dormitory in Phnom Penh run by the Harpswell Foundation, which provides housing for a few promising young women like her from rural areas in Cambodia. And while she has found sisterhood and community with the other girls in the dormitories, Raksa still misses home and her family.

  Raksa is the first in her family to attend university. Her parents, as well as the grandparents who raised her, remain committed to her education, and she’s studying hard.

  This education is just the start. Raksa has a lot more she wants to do.

  “I have a dream to become an empowered woman to guide people who have less education, especially women who live in rural or remote areas that suffer from the society and their families,” she says. Some of the types of challenges that women living in rural poverty face include widespread gender inequality, lack of access to education, undernutrition, and vulnerability to natural disasters like floods and droughts.86 ◊

  More than 70 percent of Cambodia’s population,87 and about 90 percent of the country’s poor,88 live in rural areas, where access to schools and education can be a challenge, especially for girls.

  “In some areas there is not access to schools, high schools in particular. If the school is far away from the home, the parents are afraid to let the child ride a bicycle to school, especially girls,” according to Pisey Khim, managing director at the Women’s Resource Center in Cambodia, an organization that works to empower women and girls.

  Raksa’s middle school and high school were about two and half miles from her home. But her family has always been committed to her pursuing an education despite struggles and hardship, so she cycled the distance to and from school every day.

  Distance is not the only obstacle preventing girls from finishing school. Sometimes, girls need to get jobs and earn money to help support their families.

  “Most of my female friends dropped out after they finished primary or middle school because their family wanted them to help with their farming in the province or to work as garment workers in Phnom Penh for financial support,” Raksa says.

  This is not uncommon, according to Khim. “Many families cannot afford to send their children to school. Sometimes parents don’t understand that education is important for the children, for girls in particular. If a family is expecting their female child to become a housewife, they may believe that there is no need for her to have an education,” she explains. ◊

  What is Songkran / Sankranta?

  It’s a celebration to mark the start of the Khmer New Year.

  How did you celebrate at your dormitory?

  Almost all of us, around 30 students, gathered in the morning, helped each other with the cooking and other arrangements such as decoration, preparing games, music, and songs.

  Could you describe some of the games you played?

  The fruit eating competition is an enjoyable game because it is easy and very funny. It requires two or more participants to play. Watermelon, jicama, or other fruits will be provided to contestants. Then, they need to eat those fruits very quickly without using their hands. Whoever finishes first is the winner.

  What about Vai Khhorm?

  Vai Khhorm (Breaking Pot) is a very popular traditional game played during Khmer New Year. Players need to prepare khhorm (pots): they put powder and candies in the pots, and then the pots are hung over our heads, making sure players can reach them using baseball bats. Players are blindfolded, spun around a few times, and then the competition starts. Surrounding people shout instructions: some to confuse players, some to help them break the pots and win!

  March 31, 2019

  A Busy Sunday

  Oh! My very busy Sunday, but it was [such an] interesting day. In the morning, I had to join a meeting with my high school alumnae association. I was so happy to see them, especially my best friends. We talked about our high school’s problems and how to help it. At the end of the meeting, I got good news, which is in May all alumnae students celebrate a party at school, and we also have four agendas that are going to focus on teaching and helping students to make decisions [for] after [they] graduate high school. I can’t wait for that day. After [we] finished the meeting, I and my friends went to my rent house which is not near there. We had a great lunch together. I didn’t want to leave there, but at 2:00 p.m. I had a leadership seminar at dorm. It was rush hour.

  On this Sunday, the speaker is from the U.S. Embassy in Phnom Penh. She’s [such an] amazing woman. All her words were very clear and awesome. I learned a lot from her that inspired me to keep going and fighting for my life. I will do what I want to be. It is real, not dreaming, so I will try my best.

  April 1, 2019

  Today I got up at 7:15 in the morning. I was still on the bed. Oh! It was nearly time to go to school. I hurried to prepare something before going to school. It was a new term day in level five and I was a bit late for school, but it’s okay. I was very happy to see my classmates again, and also delighted to study with new teachers. They are friendly and funny with a bit serious behavior. I like to study with them.

  April 3, 2019

  After I finished class, I felt unhappy today. I don’t know why? At college we had celebrated Songkran [Cambodian New Year] that made everyone look so happy.

  I didn’t talk a lot today, just thought about how my life is going to be. I had many tasks to do and I was worried about life and felt a bit down. I need some place to RELAX. I wish I was a child, that I could play. I miss my childhood. Life in university is not as easy as I thought. It requires a lot of responsibilities and a strong commitment.

  Raksa, keep going girl!

  April 6, 2019

  Unforgettable Songkran, Harpswell Day

  Today, I got up so late because last night I had to prepare the decorations with the team for our Songkran day, so I went to bed at 1:45 a.m. However, today was a really amazing day for me. We continued to decorate our places, trees, and anywhere that we went. In the end, the decorations were wonderful. During the day, along with some other sisters, I also prepared food before it was cooked. I was a bit tired, but I really enjoyed doing it. In the evening, after everything was prepared, it was time to take photos, and some sisters who are Harpswell alumnae students attended. After that, we had a special dinner and it was so interesting. After dinner, we had popular Khmer games to play, such as answer the questions, fruit competition, Vai Khhorm and dancing. We had an awesome time together, having fun and strengthening our sisterhood. I spent a whole day with lovely sisters. I had a great time with them and they made me feel as warm as I am with my family.

  Thanks, God, for giving me a very good opportunity.

  Thank you to the Harpswell Foundation for connecting
me with Raksa.

  Ruksar

  17 years old

  Lucknow, India

  Tell us about your family. What do your parents do?

  My father is a laborer. He also does some work as a carpenter in Delhi in someone else’s shop. Ammi [Mother] sews clothes when orders come. That is how she pays our school fees. We have a very small family.

  Are you in school? Do you have a job?

  When I don’t go to school, I do all the housework and also help with the sewing.

  Tell us about your friends.

  I feel very happy when I hang out with my friends Junaib, Faiza, Safiya, Sahil, Saba.

  Ruksar is a seventeen-year-old girl who lives in a slum in Lucknow, a medium-sized city in India. Slums are crowded city neighborhoods where the inhabitants are often some of the poorest, and their homes can lack solid foundations and formal sanitation systems. Ruksar lives at home with her four siblings and her parents—her father is a daily wage-laborer (which generally involves manual labor, not office work), and her mother is a seamstress.

  Ruksar’s diary entries read more like a meticulous journal: she chronicles what she did and how she felt at different moments, with timestamps. Her accurate accounting of her hours paints a picture of days filled with schoolwork, teaching younger children, fasting for Ramadan (a Muslim holy month), and ever-relatable frustration when her mother won’t let her join her friends at one of their houses. While Ruksar’s parents are at work, she is often expected to be responsible for and take care of her younger siblings. ◊