Girlhood Read online

  What do you want to do when you grow up?

  I’m not too sure—the ultimate dream is to become a published author. In ways though I think it might just be a faraway fantasy that won’t ever happen. Either because I don’t have the belief in myself or it just appears impossible to get a job like that in the industry, but who knows? I have determination when I put my mind to it.

  Emma is a sixteen-year-old girl who lives in Ireland with her parents and her dog. She is in her transition year in school, an optional year in secondary school (or high school) that isn’t focused entirely on academics, giving teens a chance to widen their horizons by trying new activities and going on trips.

  Most of Emma’s days consist of school—she loves English and history and wants to continue studying them in college—spending time with friends and family, and listening to music. She writes a lot about music and the pop stars she loves. Her favorite is Shawn Mendes, a Canadian singer.

  “I love Shawn Mendes so much because his music has helped me in so many ways,” Emma explains. “I think it’s nice how he’s not that much older than me, so he has a lot of really powerful songs that I can connect to as we’re going through the same things at the same time, such as anxiety and growing up.”

  Emma’s walls are plastered with posters and photos of Shawn and other musicians she adores. She also runs Instagram and Twitter fan accounts for Shawn Mendes, which is one of her favorite hobbies. She follows news about him, watches livestreams from around the world, and talks to other fans.

  “I’ve made some really great friends through the fan account from countries such as Belgium and England,” she said. “I haven’t met up with any of them in person yet but next time Shawn tours around Europe I’m planning to meet up with them.” ◊

  According to experts, being a superfan like Emma can be an important and transformative experience.

  “For teenage female fans, fandom may provide a space for exploring identity, sexuality, creativity, and ambition,” explains Dr. Ruth Deller, an academic at Sheffield Hallam University who studies gender and fandom. She says that these communities of fans “are ‘safer’ [spaces] than at school or home.”

  “In ‘real life’ teenage girls often feel disempowered and as though their voices are not taken seriously. In fandoms, there is more of a sense of an even playing field,” Deller explains.

  For Emma, it’s also a space where other people share her interest and don’t get bored with her talking about Shawn.

  “The fan account is my go-to place where I can talk about Shawn 24/7 and no one can tell me to stop!! My parents and friends from school are sick of me talking about him at this stage!!” she explains.

  From the Beatles in the 1960s to Justin Bieber in recent years, the world of pop music fandom is one where “girls’ tastes dominate and are praised,” according to Dr. Francesca Coppa, a professor at Muhlenberg College who has studied pop culture, fans, and social media.

  This is particularly valuable, Coppa says, in part because “it’s a rarer and more valuable experience precisely to the extent to which teenage girls often are not listened to, do not have their taste, art, or writing appreciated.”

  The communities for devoted fans like Emma are a space where girls find each other, and where their voices and preferences are loud, respected, and heard. For girls around the world, opportunities for this are still too rare. ◊

  March 24

  Today was a really good day. I woke up this morning at around 9:00 a.m. (yes—I know—extremely early, for a night owl like me). I checked my messages on my phone before I got out of bed—the usual. Then, I see in my Instagram feed that while I was asleep . . . Jack Gilinsky from Jack & Jack [an American pop music duo] had liked 2 of my posts on my fanpage for them. I was in shock. Johnson [the other Jack in Jack & Jack] had only noticed me a few days previously for the first time too.

  My whole life revolves around music. I can’t imagine my world without it. Shawn Mendes, Jack & Jack, and Ariana Grande would be who I mainly listen to. I’m basically borderline obsessed with Shawn and anyone who knows me could tell you that. I have over 40 pictures of him on my bedroom wall. I run another fan account online about Shawn with over a thousand followers. I sleep, breathe, and eat his music. It’s so incredible to think that he is only 20—4 years older than me—and has done so much already. “In My Blood” was the song that pushed me through the two grueling weeks of the junior cert * last year. Ariana is such a role model I feel to me and other teenage girls. She shows us anything is possible and she defies all rules. One of my best friends Alicya and I really want to see her live this year when she comes on tour to Dublin and scream out the lyrics to “thank u, next,” as it has a special meaning to us, but the tickets are too expensive—300 euro! (I’d only pay that price for Shawn . . .)

  My parents and I went to mass as usual today, as it is Sunday. We went to an 11:00 a.m. mass today which is a surprise as we’re usually too lazy to get up that early and go for a 5:30 p.m. mass instead and get takeaway after. I wouldn’t say I’m an extremely religious person but I do find peace in prayer. After, I went out with my friend Holly. We only live across the road from each other and I’ve known her for so long—the years are countless. We went to the pavilions and discussed all things Shawn Mendes (what else, of course). We’re seeing him live in concert in 19 days too! I can’t believe it, it’s getting so so close. I remember last year looking at the days away and it was 230 days! We found some Shawn Mendes t-shirts in H&M to our delight and we had McDonald’s to finish off the day. I can never say no to a Big Mac!

  Emma

  April 3

  Dear Diary,

  It’s so weird how possibly one of the worst days of your life can be followed by one of the best days of your life. Last weekend, I was eating my breakfast in the kitchen and all of a sudden I heard the intro of “In My Blood” playing on the radio. I was delighted because in my opinion, the Irish radio stations never play enough of Shawn’s music. However, “In My Blood” quickly turned into the beat of “Treat You Better,” and then a voiceover came on the radio about a meet-and-greet competition—to meet—MEET—Shawn Mendes. Both my dad and Sonic were in the kitchen at the time and they both looked at me very alarmed when I started screaming and jumping up and down like a 5-year-old. I straight away started contacting the radio station in every way possible. I set up a Facebook account to specifically spam their comments page, I tweeted them, I emailed them, and also on Instagram through my Shawn Mendes fan account.

  Monday was the first day of the weeklong competition. They were giving away the tickets just after I finished school at 4; I used both of my parents’ phones to increase my chances along with my own phone. We were told to text in as soon as a song by Shawn Mendes was played; within the first second of the song I texted in. The first person the DJ tried to contact live on the radio, phone went straight to voicemail. So, the second caller won the tickets. Meanwhile, I got a message on my phone saying “missed call.” I rang the caller back quick and I heard a voiceover speaking: it was then that I realised I was the first caller, but my phone went straight to voicemail and I would have been meeting my idol if my phone had been working.

  I cried hysterically for 2 hours straight after that. I love Shawn more than anything and as I said in another diary entry, my life revolves around his music. So there’s nothing I would want more than to thank him for his music as it has helped me through so much. I tried to be positive the next day at school but to be honest, I hadn’t got any sleep, I had a fake smile plastered across my face and little did people know there was tears behind my eyes. Not many people understand how much Shawn means to me except a few—Alicya was really helpful. She’s also obsessed with Ed Sheeran so she just put herself in my shoes and understood how I felt straight away. My mum was also really comforting when I came home from school at lunchtime (I always come home for lunch as I only live about 5 mins away fr
om school).

  I heard on the radio station at lunchtime that they were giving away more meet and greet tickets during the afternoon. My hands were shaking and my heart started beating at triple speed. I didn’t have much hope to win the competition anymore but I knew I still had to try or well, that’s what all the YouTube videos I had watched told me to do. I took the afternoon off school and entered the competition. It seemed pretty difficult at first. We were told to form a correct word from a mashup of three Shawn Mendes songs. We had to take the first letter of each song to form a 3-letter word. However, I got it without any hesitation. I sent the answer in and about a minute later, my mum’s phone started flashing! I answered it eagerly—a lady introduced herself from the radio show. She told me that my answer was correct and that if the DJ whose name was Tony called my name out—I had to scream as loud as I could as there were a few other callers on the line who could be picked. To my shock, she called out my name and said the words that I dreamed of so many times: “Emma, you’re going to meet Shawn Mendes.”!!!

  I started screaming and freaking out—I was nearly in tears. I couldn’t believe that after everything that had happened the day before—I was picked again. Now I can say I’m meeting Shawn in 10 days. It’s definitely amazing to see what a new day can bring!

  Emma

  Thank you to Fighting Words Ireland for connecting me with Emma.

  Junior cert, or junior certificate, consists of government-mandated exams in a wide range of subjects that students in Ireland generally take when they’re fourteen or fifteen years old.

  Favour

  13 years old

  Minna, Nigeria

  Tell us about your friends.

  Their names are Deborah, Comfort, Helene, Cynthia, and so on. I like to spend time with them at school. We read together, we study together, we do everything together. When I’m moody, they make me smile.

  How do you like to spend time when you’re not at school?

  I like to spend time with my cousin-sister. Her name is Mercy. We joke around, we talk.

  What are your favorite subjects?

  I will have to make chemistry, biology, mathematics, and English as my favorite subjects, mostly biology.

  “My dream is to become a qualified medical doctor,” says Favour, “because I want to save people’s lives.”

  Favour lives in Minna, in Niger State, with her parents and her two younger brothers. “I love my area because it is always busy, it doesn’t make someone feel bored but rather lively,” she says. Her mother is a teacher and her father is in the military, and her dream is to become a surgeon, focusing on maternal medicine.

  “I hate to see or hear that someone died as a result of giving birth . . . that is what gave me the courage to [want to] be a medical doctor,” she explains.

  Favour is a determined science student—she even writes that she’ll have to make biology her favorite subject since she wants to become a doctor. Her parents have encouraged her education. “I love my parents so much because they care for me, they also raise some money to send me and my siblings to school,” she says.

  Unlike Favour, however, many girls in Nigeria are not in school. In July 2017, Nigeria’s government said that the country had “the largest number of children out of school” in the world. Most of them are in the North East of Nigeria, whereas Favour lives in Central Nigeria.42 According to UNICEF, an estimated 10.5 million Nigerian children, 60 percent of them girls, are not in school.43 ◊

  The Nigeria we see through Favour’s eyes is very different from the one that has made headlines in the last decade. Boko Haram, a powerful extremist group, has brought violence, limited women’s and girls’ rights, closed schools, and displaced hundreds of thousands of Nigerians, among other horrors. They are particularly active in the North East of the country.

  The group’s name, Boko Haram, translates from Hausa, a widely spoken language in northern Nigeria, to “Western education is forbidden.” The group has targeted schools, teachers, and students.44

  In 2014, 276 schoolgirls were kidnapped from Chibok, a town in northern Nigeria. This incident made international headlines and inspired a trending hashtag (#BringBackOurGirls) as the world watched in horror.45

  In 2017, a large number of the Chibok girls returned home, but the insurgency continues in parts of the country.46 According to the United Nations, between 2013 and 2018, more than one thousand children in northeastern Nigeria were abducted by Boko Haram,47 and more than one thousand schools were destroyed. In February 2018, more than one hundred schoolgirls were kidnapped by Boko Haram in one day. 48 ◊

  Tuesday

  On Tuesday morning when I woke up, I prayed, thanking God for sparing my life, and then later on I did my house chores and then we ate our breakfast and then prepared to go to church. Before then my dad who just arrived from his work came back with gifts for us and we were very happy.

  My day was interesting, because we were expecting our dad to come back and our expectations came through. My day was also a good day because I had time to jest with my dad, who I had not seen for weeks.

  I woke up today at 5:30 a.m. because of my mum who woke me to help her to feed my junior brother and at the same day I went to bed at about 8:30 p.m. because I was very tired. I am very happy today because I spent time with my family and also with my friends.

  I am most looking forward to night coming so that I can rest my brain and sleep.

  Wednesday

  On Wednesday morning I woke up at about 6:30 a.m. When I woke up I prayed as usual and then greeted my parents, and then went to the kitchen to cook for my brothers because they were hungry, and then I fetched water and then washed plates. I didn’t do all my house chores because I was not feeling too well.

  My day today was not that good because I was not feeling too well and my body was weak and because of that I went to the hospital for a checkup and then the doctor prescribed some drugs for me and I took them.

  Today I am most looking forward to night coming and then for me to get well and okay soon. I went to bed today at about 7:45 p.m. because I was not feeling too well.

  Thursday

  Oh my day. Thursday was a very interesting day for me because my expectations came true. I woke up today at about 6:50 a.m., I prayed, I greeted my parents, did my house chores because I am fit and well today.

  My day today was bad because we heard news that one of our relatives was dead. She died as a result of sickness. We were not happy the way we used to be happy because she is very close to us. My mum and her friend went to greet them while we stayed back at home with our last born, who is still a baby so we had to stay back and take good care of the baby.

  Moreover, on this very day, I met my uncle who works in another state as a military man; he came to visit us. And my happier thing was that he did not come empty handed. He bought some goodies for us, which we ate like never before.

  I really enjoy my day today because I spent time with my uncle. I am most worried today about the issue of my relative who died as a result of ill health. [I wish] I had the capacity to take care of her family and her children.

  However, I went to bed today around 9 p.m. because my mum tuned in the television for us to watch. We watched and laughed because the channel was a funny channel. It was so interesting; we had a lot of fun.

  Thank you to WAAW Foundation and their fellows for connecting me with Favour.

  Halima

  17 years old

  Mazar-i-Sharif, Afghanistan

  What are your favorite subjects in school?

  Quran, biology, geology, and English

  What music do you like?

  Celine Dion

  Tell us about your friends.

  Coming to my relations with friends, indeed I do not have that many friends, as I have realized that it is difficult to trust people. So far, I
have made six friends in my life that I really want them to be with me and I want to know them more. All my six friends are school students and they love to go sightseeing.

  What is it like to grow up in a country that is ranked as one of the worst places in the world to be a woman? To grow up in a country at war?

  Halima lives with her family in a city in northern Afghanistan. She shared diary entries from the summer of 2018 and early 2019.

  For Halima, the days start early—usually around 4 a.m.—and are full: she goes to school, does her chores, helps her father peel potatoes (he sells fries), and teaches English at an academic center. She’s hardworking, ambitious, and has big dreams. “I would like to finish my education and become self-sufficient and independent as well as financially support my family,” she explains.

  While Halima’s ambition is echoed by many girls, she faces an additional challenge of living in a country where women’s rights have been severely limited and which is ranked as one of the worst in the world for girls’ access to education.49

  From 1996 to 2001, Afghanistan was ruled by the Taliban, an extreme Islamic group. During their reign, women and girls were not allowed to work, go to school, show skin in public, or leave the house without a male family member who would be a “chaperone.” 50

  Since then, laws and attitudes have been changing. Now, more than seventeen years after the fall of the Taliban, girls are going to school. “The public space, the public arena, for girls ebbs and flows with these dynamics,” as do safety and security in the region, explains Ginna Brelsford, executive director of Sahar, an organization working to get girls into school and keep them there. “There’s just enough time that’s gone by since 2001, dads and brothers and male figures can weigh out the pros and cons of their daughters going to school, and it keeps tipping more towards education and opportunity, away from the burqa and toward education,” she says. ◊