Girlhood Page 4

  I don’t really get out of the house, I’m usually at school all day, then I go home and sleep because life is exhausting.

  How do you like to spend your time when you are not at school?

  I read, bullet journal, study, watch Netflix, and sleep. I generally read anything that I get my hands on. I’m not sure I have a specific genre I like best.

  What do you watch on TV or Netflix?

  I watch LOTS of American TV. I love Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place, Glee, Pretty Little Liars, and Dynasty. My all-time favorite is Elementary—I maintain that it’s the best interpretation of Sherlock Holmes to exist. I also watch French dramas, but that’s mainly for the sake of my exams.

  Chen Xi loves to read—she’ll read anything she can get her hands on—and when I ask her about her dreams for the future, she ends up telling me about The Great Gatsby and how “dreams are but mere illusions.”

  But she also has very practical and specific goals about higher education and what she hopes to study in the future.

  “I aspire to read English literature in the UK and hopefully work in academia,” she says. “If we’re being realistic, however, I would probably major in literature and try to either minor in mathematics or take a second major in the social sciences, most likely psychology. I would attempt to go into education or academia, and I have honestly no idea what I’d do if I failed.”

  She lives in Singapore with her parents, sister, and grandmother. Her mother is a nurse lecturer and PhD student and her father is a pastor.

  Singapore is a very diverse city and home to a lot of immigrants, with a population that’s made up primarily of Chinese, Malay, Indian, and other ethnic groups. In fact, about one in five marriages involving Singaporeans are between couples of different races.24

  Some of this diversity is reflected in Chen Xi’s family and education, too.

  “Neither of my parents has English as a first language,” says Chen Xi, who studies, speaks, and writes in English. “Which is odd because I suck at Mandarin (my dad’s first language) and I completely don’t speak Bahasa Melayu (my mom’s I think oops).”

  English is one of her favorite subjects, and Chen Xi has also studied Chinese and Malay at school. “I must say though, I’ve enjoyed every moment of Chinese in secondary school; my teachers have been amazing,” she says. “Doesn’t make me any less grateful that I’m done with mandatory bilingual education though. We had to take Malay classes, but I used to have dance classes which clashed with the Malay classes in primary [elementary] school.”

  Chen Xi works hard and spends her days at school and her evenings poring over homework. Sometimes after studying late into the night, she will fall asleep in class the next day. ◊

  Singapore has a reputation for academic rigor and high-achieving students. According to studies of teenage students around the world, students in Singapore top the charts globally in terms of academic excellence.25 But students in Singapore also reported that academics take a larger emotional toll on them, according to a study conducted in more than 70 countries by the Organization for Economic Cooperation & Development (OECD).

  For example, 76 percent of students polled in Singapore reported feeling test anxiety, compared with an average of 55 percent in other OECD countries. Significantly more students from Singapore, when compared to the average, also worried about performing poorly in school.26

  While Chen Xi is quick to dismiss the stereotype of Asian students who are good at only math and science (she loves French and English literature too), her dedication to academics aligns with the experiences of Singaporean teenagers at large.

  “I study because I enjoy it,” says Chen Xi. “So yeah, I’m your stereotypical Asian (without the grades, but most of my friends aren’t, so please kill that stereotype and let me study because I want to!!). Also I do want to do well so I’ll be able to read my subject of choice (which isn’t a stereotypical Asian subject of choice thank you very much), in my school of choice.” ◊

  Chen Xi often writes in Singaporean slang, and we’ve included explanations for words you might not be familiar with.

  March 19, 2019

  Am I writing the year or the day first? I guess we’ll never know. Hehe today has been pretty good I guess? Chem was ok and then I ate the UniCornetto it sucks but it’s so pretty and I ate the marinara spicy fusilli & it’s okay. ok but it was pretty productive! Shalyn and I sat at the café for about an hour doing work & I did some chem & bio & now I’m almost done w the first chapter of bio!! after a month!! two more to go!!!!! also Jaymie’s birthday is on thursday so I got her the rose face mask, it’s rly good hehe and the shea butter one which I’ve never tried. and nigel took a photo for us in which I’m probably not looking at the camera let the record show that I’m ugly and embarrassed.

  pfft I should go do bio lol the test is on monday take note:

  mon: bio test

  tues: math test?

  weds: chem test

  thurs: more probable math test + chem test

  or, I could go edit version 3048437 of my campaign poster!!* spent half the day on that I don’t even know why I signed up but I guess it’s a great experience in that it’s testing my persistence :)

  April 2, 2019

  Hi! I’m trying my darndest to keep my handwriting neat after almost failing [a class] bc of my handwriting (you know what I’m gonna fail the test from earlier) and failing french. Gee thanks handwriting! It’s been a pretty hectic week and a half. I kinda neglected journaling since 2 saturdays ago so I’m just gonna say that the last day of the hols + Saturday was spent MUGGING [studying] for bio . . . I crammed 3 chapters into my head (bc the test was on Monday) and pulled an all nighter and DIED (okay I pull lots of all nighters, like I’m writing this during an all nighter. Yes I’m running on caffeine).

  AND the Bio dept only tested us on organelles and membrane structure?? I studied for carbs bc I was kinda lost and I memorised EVERYTHING and it wasn’t even tested :) so that was 2 days wasted, and tbh I don’t really remember much else, except that I watched Victorious & Sam and Cat & My Little Pony & OUAT in French.

  UGH can you see my handwriting getting progressively more disgusting. Okay and as I mentioned, there was French on Weds, I got like 8/30 which isn’t bad IF I COULD PASS MATH!! because math was on thursday with chem. For chem, I was failure-bound—okay I just neglected it and I feel so so bad, sorry Mr. W, you’re an amazing teacher I’m just dumb/lazy & sorry Mr L I’m just lazy/I prefer artsy [subjects] like french even if I love math <3 My main issue with math is that I have no idea how to use the bloody graphing calculator? I spent more than half the paper tryna work it and just gave up & did it manually & i’m so careless. That’s my fatal flaw. So I’m failure-bound for math too wuhu!

  Oh and on Saturday, like the Saturday that just ended, we had a basic social!* and yesterday/Monday wasn’t very eventful, except for the council rehearsal. †

  Anyways, someone commented that I sounded insincere. but idk lol it was cold & I had to sit still and UGH. also Ms. Kai commented that my hair was a mess, well I’m in this constant state of messiness. I AM THE MESS. So today I mugged GP [General Paper, a general-studies class] and the test was weirdly difficult? Maybe I should have slept earlier but I was just so unclear in my writing GOSH the thought of it makes me want to slap myself.

  Before I continue, I just remembered on Friday, I fell asleep in Ms. Loh’s class. I feel guilty but I was so exhausted, it’s been a long week, I just knocked out (I mean not exactly) I was kinda reading articles on genetic innovation, farming opinions, and I just drifted off? and she didn’t even scold me, which makes me feel bad, because she’s the teacher whom I have respected/actually liked for the longest time in my high school life? and I’m just out here being a disappointment? I have hoped for five years that she’d teach me PW [a subject called project work] AND I GO AND MESS IT UP BY FALLING ASLEEP? anyWAYS l
ast week was a bad week which I never want to revisit :(

  So here’s the thing, I’m rarely ever bored in lit. If I am, I’m still engaged by the lesson. I absolutely ADORE lit. but for the first time, I sort of zoned out? in class. Which is very out of character for me, as most people would know me as being unable to LIVE without lit! and this was a poetry lesson/I love poetry lessons & analysis! so halfway through the lesson I realized I was dead and was instantly like, ‘what’s going on smh I need help’ and I proceeded to spend the next half an hour resolving to tell Mr. S that I feel like I have reached a plateau in my learning. honestly, I felt super egotistic and bratty and horrid when I told him that. I felt like I have completely stopped learning bc I know you never stop learning for lit, and I feel like a real brat like, ‘I’m too good & fast for this class (because he kinda asked me if I felt like the class was less advanced and I said yes and UGH I just feel so bad, it’s not that they are not advanced bc they do go through rly deep stuff, it was more of I feel like they are all moving forward, and I’m just standing still. I did clarify this.

  So he kinda offered to give me extra hw, which I will be accepting because homework is the key to solve all problems, and world hunger! at least, fine, poetry analysis and extensive reading and analysis of meter may just do the trick.

  Chen Xi was running for student council.

  The social was an outing with a group from church. They went to a board game café.

  The rehearsal was for campaign speeches, since Chen Xi was running for student government.

  Claudie

  13 years old

  Pango Village, Vanuatu

  What is your favorite subject?

  My favorite subject is maths.

  When did you start learning how to surf? What made you decide to learn to surf?

  I started surfing when I was 11 years old. I liked how my sister usually surfs so that made me decided to surf.

  How often do you surf?

  I usually surf on Sundays and sometimes on school days.

  “I want to be Wonder Woman, because whenever the world comes across a big trouble, I would solve it.”

  Meet Claudie. She’s thirteen, she surfs, and she wants to travel the world. When she grows up, she wants to be a lawyer (as well as Wonder Woman).

  She’s part of a big family—including six uncles, an aunt, and eighteen cousins—and she lives with her mother, brother, and uncle. They live in a small village in the South Pacific country of Vanuatu, which is made up of a group of about eighty islands and is known for beaches, being the birthplace of bungee jumping, and diving. It routinely ranks as one of the happiest places in the world.27

  For Claudie, it’s also a place where many of her days are spent learning to ride the waves and dreaming about what her grown-up life will look like. In school, math is her favorite subject, and she’s worried about her midyear exams. Outside of school and surfing, she likes doing her chores at home, such as washing her clothes and cooking with her mother.

  Claudie mostly hangs out with two friends. “I like walking around the village with Genevieve,” she says, and, “I like surfing with Salote.”

  When Claudie was younger, she watched her older sister surf, which inspired her to take up the sport at eleven years old. ◊

  Girls’ surfing is a relatively new phenomenon in Vanuatu, as it is in much of the rest of the world. It’s part of an effort to help empower women and girls in the region.

  “There was a noticeable male dominance in the lineup, which was a reflection of our society’s patriarchal culture,” explains Stephanie Mahuk, president of the Vanuatu Surfing Association, a local organization that has set up initiatives to empower girls and create surfing opportunities for them. Claudie is part of Solwata Sistas, the program for girls to learn how to surf.

  “While the boys believed the surf was their territory and discouraged the girls who tried, most girls themselves believed that medium of ocean enjoyment [surfing] was not for them,” Mahuk explains.

  The gender inequality in surfing in Vanuatu reflects a patriarchal culture—a culture where men have more authority than women and power over women. It also reflects an inequality between men and women that is widespread in the Pacific Islands. Women have fewer opportunities for jobs, are represented less in government, and sometimes don’t share the same rights under the law as men do.

  In fact, as of 2018, none of the fifty-two members of Vanuatu’s Parliament were women.28 And about two-thirds of all women in the region are impacted by gender-based violence, which is twice the global average.29 Gender-based violence includes violence or abuse that is based on someone’s gender identity, existing gender norms, or gender-based unequal power relationships. It can include physical violence, sexual abuse, or emotional or psychological abuse.

  According to Mahuk, gender roles in Vanuatu still often favor men and give them more opportunities. “[Solwata Sistas] challenges the pervasive sexism and discrimination against girls and women using surfing,” she says. “The current climate has become more conducive to bringing about gender parity because other organizations and the government have with louder voices advocated for a change in attitude towards the treatment of girls and women.”

  As much as girls claiming space on surfboards and in the ocean is about shifting expectations of what girls or women can do with the goal of creating more equality, it is also, of course, about the joy of the sport—of the mental and physical feat of riding a wave.

  “A passion for surfing brings about a connection to nature that no other sport does and lands most surfers on the forefront of protecting the environment they enjoy,” Mahuk says. ◊

  Friday

  This morning I woke up and went down to the beach and helped to set up tents to sell some Leimalo shirts. *

  Then I came home and had my shower and breakfast and went back to the beach to help to set up tents to sell some Leimalo shirts.

  Then my friends came over and we hung around the beach. After that it was my heat [to surf] so I jumped into the water.

  When I came back I found out that I came in 4th. I felt so unhappy then I cried and my cousin was so mean to me and said something I didn’t feel good about and I ran home with my board and cried and cried. I didn’t like that day.

  Monday

  This morning, I woke up and had breakfast and went down to the beach. Then my cousin told me that my aunt wanted to see me.

  When we arrived at my aunt’s house, she told me that she wants me to sell her cake. I took the cake and [went] back to the beach. After selling the cake, I went back to my aunt’s house and dropped off the container and the money.

  Then I hung around the beach, then went back home and told my mum I was sick and she massaged me.

  Thursday

  Today, I woke up and I felt like I was going to be sick. Then I took my blanket and I slept on the couch. When I woke up I saw my mum folding the blanket and sweeping. After that, she went outside and I had nothing to do, I was just on the couch.

  Then I had my breakfast and came back and lay on the couch. I asked my mum if she could buy me credit [pay for more data for her cell phone so she could go online] cause I wanted to go to YouTube.

  Then something went wrong with the phone. I tried to find out what’s wrong with the phone but I couldn’t, so I left the phone on the couch and went to see my cousin.

  We were telling stories. After that I came home, had lunch and slept on the couch. Then I remembered that my birthday was on Friday the 26th of April, it was tomorrow. Then I went back to sleep.

  Sunday

  Today I woke up, I folded my blanket and left it on my bed and went to the kitchen to have breakfast.

  After that I asked my mum if I can go to my uncle’s house to use his wifi. Then she said yes, then I took the phone and went [to my uncle’s house where I use
d] the wifi [to] watch some movies. Then I had lunch. After that I decided to go to my other uncle’s house, so I went and watched a movie on their laptop. Then the sun was about to go down, then I came back home.

  When I reached the house I looked for my mum but she wasn’t here so I thought she went to my grandmother’s house. So I went there . . .

  She wasn’t there so I came back. When I was walking back, I saw them walking back home from the garden so I followed them back, had my shower and dinner, and went to bed at 8 o’clock.

  Thank you to Vanuatu Surfing Association for connecting me with Claudie.

  Leimalo is a local goddess who blesses surfers with good waves.

  Desireé

  15 years old

  Dubai, United Arab Emirates

  Tell us about your friends.

  I guess you could say that I do have a lot of friends, but recently my really close friends and I have been drifting apart—mostly because of school and studying and prepping for boards, so we aren’t as close anymore. Lately I’ve been making new friends though, so I’m starting to become really close with them. They are all really nice and I feel like I fit in with them.

  What are your favorite subjects in school?

  Probably history and geography. Maybe even business.

  Do you have a best friend?

  My best friend is Neeraj. We go to the same school and we have for years, but we became really good friends at a Justin Bieber concert in 2017. Neeraj is really fun to hang out with and he’s extremely smart! He’s always been there for me and I hope we remain friends forever!!