Girlhood Page 13
5. Me
I’m grateful I am beginning to make good decisions. And stick to my routines and just be a better overall me.
I am so grateful for that.
I love you, Shanai.
I love you.
I love you.
You’re amazing.
Keep it up, baby.
Shanai sometimes writes lists of things she is grateful for in her journal—the list in this entry is one of them.
Sofia
18 years old
Panama City, Panama
What are some things you like to do outside of school?
I’ve shown an interest in art my whole life. From painting the walls of my room and drawing my friends to learning about art theory and listening to alternative music in all genres, art has always been a passion of mine.
What are your favorite subjects?
Back in middle school, I was introduced to the wonders of chemistry and biology. I fell in love. Being able to understand different types of life-forms and how matter is created sparked what is now my fascination with biochemistry and molecular investigation.
Could you tell us more about your interest in politics?
If a few years back, someone would’ve told me that I was going to be very passionate about human rights, social issues, and even go as far as to be the president of my school’s debate club—and on top of that, getting the chance to present a draft bill in congress with several of my pro-education partners . . . I’d NEVER have believed it.
As someone who is concerned for her country’s future, I got involved with organizations and movements that try to tackle the current status quo through improving our educational system. Also, one of my most recent projects is the Observatorio Contra el Acoso Callejero (Observatory Against Street Harassment). Our goal is to show the harmful effects of sexual harassment and assault in public spaces so that our politicians take this topic seriously. This initiative was born from personal experiences shared among many women, the need to solve this problem and the opportunity to join an international collective of organizations that were interested in including Panama in the statistics of the “Latina reality.”
Sofia’s interests are diverse: art, science, and politics. She’s painted murals on her bedroom walls, is planning to study biomedicine in college, and is a passionate activist who has presented a draft bill to Panama’s government.
She was born in Costa Rica, but she grew up and lives in Panama City with her parents and two younger sisters. Her mother’s side of the family is Costa Rican, her father’s side Panamanian, and she has Filipino roots as well. Her parents are both professionals with managerial jobs, her father at an insurance company and her mother at an electricity company. Sofia is planning to study biological sciences and hopes to do research in the “pharmaceutical industry and all around the health care system.”
“Living in Panama as a young woman is hard to describe,” says Sofia. “Latino culture is very traditional, leaning towards religious beliefs. Society sometimes feels harsh on women as a whole. But Panama has a very globalized city. We are known for being a meeting point among countries and constantly referred to as a crisol de razas (melting pot). Meaning, many cultures have contributed to the Panamanian way of thinking and living.”
She is committed to politics and activism, and she writes both about her day-to-day routines and the political causes she cares deeply about. ◊
In one of her diary entries, Sofia writes about a day spent cleaning up the beach. She shares her worries about the impact of discarded plastic on the oceans and on Panama’s biodiversity (the variety of plant and animal life that lives and grows there). The country is home to more than 10,000 types of plants, 250 species of mammals, and 970 species of birds.105
Sofia has good reason for concern. According to some reports, if people around the world don’t make significant changes, there could be more plastic than fish in our oceans by 2050.106 And Sofia lives in a part of the world that experts say is highly vulnerable to the impacts of climate change.107 Central America, a region with long coastlines and lowlands situated between two oceans, regularly deals with droughts, flooding, and cyclones.108
Sofia’s concern for the environment is something we see not just in Central America, but also among her peers around the world. Teenage activists have taken the megaphone and are speaking up about the effect of human actions on the environment. It only makes sense: teens will inherit the earth and will live through the impact of today’s actions. ◊
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
Diary:
Today I had a full scheduled day. I don’t enjoy feeling like I’m doing the exact same thing every day, so I try to focus on my work individually to prevent getting overwhelmed. Today I woke up at 6 a.m., got ready and had breakfast. Then I rushed to my nearest metro station to start my day. The metro train public transportation is quite new, but it has improved many Panamanian lifestyles. From there I usually walk to my destination. With this said, some Panamanian streets don’t have sidewalks, and if they do they’re quite small. I think this is one of the reasons why people don’t prefer walking; also because the weather makes it difficult sometimes. We say we have two seasons: hot summer and rainy summer. Humidity is always present too. I have to admit that I don’t mind it, I enjoy [being] out in the sun. However, rain is a whole different story. Luckily, these past few days it’s been very nice and windy so I’ve had no problem running errands.
I went to my grandpa’s house because he lives closer to downtown. We used to live there when we first moved from Costa Rica to Panama so it feels like a second home. The area where he lives is called La Loceria. This place is next to El Dorado, which is known as a small “Chinatown.” Many Chinese descendant families have their businesses in El Dorado and also live here. Establishments such as restaurants, dry cleaners, and even a casino make up this place. I have a special connection with this neighborhood because I grew up next to it. The school I graduated from is Chinese-Panamanian and is also in this area. From elementary to high school, I grew up learning Mandarin Chinese and Taiwanese culture. It is very ironic because my family has a Filipino descendance, so I look Asian to some people plus I speak Mandarin Chinese and understand the culture. You could imagine how much of an ethnic enigma I may seem for those who don’t know me that well.
After that I went to the gym as usual. What a busy day!
Love, Sof
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Diary:
Panama is celebrating Holy Week * and today me and my friends are going to the beach. Every year, companies and schools will give a couple of days off to their workers and students because of the holiday. Even though not everyone commemorates this religious festivity, we have a Catholic background as a society, and a small vacation never killed nobody. We woke up early and hit the road. My friend’s dog, Henry, came with us because we had no other option than to bring him. He was the first one to jump in the car.
Arriving to a beach was quite the adventure. We are surrounded by the sea; literally Panama meets both the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean, but there are a lot of polluted beaches. Coronado Beach was our final destination. I have to admit that me and my friends spent most of the trip taking pictures, but nonetheless we had a lot of fun. Going to the beach is one of my favorite things to do so it is very heartbreaking to see them get contaminated. I wish our government focused more on nature’s conservation than on industrialization. Few countries possess our biodiversity and I think we aren’t aware of how lucky we are.
Before leaving, my friend’s mom decided to clean up the area a bit. Me and friends helped her by picking up all the beer cans, plastic bags, candy wraps, plastic containers, and any other piece of trash we could find. People were staring at us but we didn’t care. Then we sat on the seashore, where the waves break, close enough just to get our feet wet while we watched th
e sunset. Listening to Señor Loop, a regional band, we talked a lot about our friendship and everything that was going on in our lives. In a few months, each one of us is going to be in a different continent and none of us is sure when we are going to reunite. Social media came up in the conversation. It’s funny how we are more connected than ever in the history of humanity but somehow friendships and relationships seem to be more fragile. I hope time treats us good and in the future we’re able to look back to all the moments we shared as friends, together.
Love, Sof
Holy Week is the week leading up to Easter, including Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday. These holidays are observed in Panama—a majority of the country’s population is Catholic—and include religious services and celebrations.
Sophie
17 years old
St. Louis, Missouri, United States of America
Tell us about your family.
We love to travel and are constantly outdoors when we are at home. We are all very hardworking and tend to stay up quite late completing work. We all are avid readers and our house is filled with books. We watch movies together constantly and binge TV shows. We just finished Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Who do you live with?
My parents, my two dogs, Toby and Dexter, and my brother, Henry
Tell us about your friends. Who do you like to spend time with at school and outside school? What are they like?
I have a couple different groups of friends, some I’ve known for less than 5 years and others I’ve known since elementary school. I have friends in all of my classes and have a close group of friends on the school newspaper. We like to go on long drives and listen to music, spend all of our money on sushi, and wander around St. Louis, finding coffee shops where we read and complete hours of homework. All of my friends are hardworking and great listeners. They LOVE music and most of them can always be found reading. When they aren’t doing homework, they are definitely binge-watching a TV show or playing with their pets.
In the spring of 2019, Sophie and her mother took a road trip through the northeastern United States to visit colleges. For Sophie, a high school student living in a suburb of St. Louis, Missouri, the trip was a chance to explore what her future could look like.
She took tours of universities, sat in on classes, and attended presentations. The trip was also incredibly scenic, and included visits to colleges that reminded Sophie of Hogwarts, the castle from the Harry Potter series. “We saw quaint farms and small towns. Everything was ensconced in a layer of snow, which made the drive even more peaceful,” she says.
Sophie participated in the original “Girlhood Around the World” series that appeared in The Lily in 2018, and I’ve also included entries from that summer, when anticipation of the school year ahead and the anxiety of applying to college weighed heavily on her. A few months later, in the spring of 2019, she shared entries from the week when she was visiting colleges with journalism programs and sitting in on classes, taking the ACT (a standardized test for college admissions), and beginning to imagine what her future could look like.
Sophie’s a voracious reader who has grown up in a home full of books and wants to be a journalist when she grows up. She was actively thinking about the future when she wrote these entries, and college applications feature frequently in her writing. ◊
In addition to to the excitement of figuring out her future, Sophie also writes about stress, anxiety, and her struggles with mental health. Academics and college applications weigh on her, but she’s found ways to cope.
“When I’m not at school, I’m most likely in bed reading, in comfy clothes and drinking a cup of tea. I hang out with friends constantly, and I go on drives often, either by myself or with friends,” she says. “I spend lots of time with my pets and my family and I travel often, which is a great escape, especially when my mental health isn’t doing so well.”
Sophie isn’t alone in this. Mental health is a significant concern for teens across the country. A staggering 70 percent of teens in the United States said they saw anxiety and depression as a major problem for their peers.109
About one in five American children have a diagnosable mental, emotional, or behavioral disorder, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.110 And this experience is particularly gendered: according to one 2017 study, 36 percent of teenage girls in the U.S. experience depression, compared to about 13 percent of teenage boys.111
In the U.S., teens report facing many stressors: from the pressure to do well in school to the pressure to look good.112 ◊
July 21, 2018
Normally when I spend time with family, I feel isolated and alone, and gradually become a closed-off version of myself. But with these cousins, the exact opposite happens. I always feel lighter and happier with them. Even though Grace was at her camp most of the day, I still had fun with my other cousin, Thomas, her brother. My brother, Thomas, and I walked around the Illinois State campus, our laughter a constant echo. I liked the campus, but am not considering going there. I’ll be starting my junior year of high school, so college is now looming in the distance. I’m excited for change, but scared out of my mind as well.
When we got back to the hotel, I got some snacks and Uno, and headed down to the lobby where I played card games for a couple hours with Thomas and my brother. When the clock was nearing 11 p.m., we became instantly slaphappy and everything was superbly funny. I cannot begin to explain the immense joy I feel around them, but I definitely know I am a better version of myself when I’m in their company. We bring out the best in each other, something I hold dear to my heart.
The one word I can use to describe today would be joy, a word not constantly seen in my everyday life. Despite all the good things in my life, I have many struggles, which can get the best of me. I’ve grappled with different mental illnesses since I was in elementary school. Now I’m a junior and still struggling. Some days are darker than others. That’s why I’m glad I have constants in my life such as my family to keep me grounded and happy.
July 23, 2018
I cleaned my room, did some laundry, and read more of my book. I really like cleaning. It calms me and every thought rushes from my head whenever I organize things. I guess that happens because no matter how chaotic my life is, cleaning makes me feel in control.
My plan for the rest of the day is to brush both of my dogs because they are shedding like crazy right now and then take them to the dog park. I’ll bring my book and read while they run around. I highly recommend reading at dog parks. It’s so relaxing because if you’re in the middle of a boring scene and need a break, looking at all the dogs running around is perfect.
Summer is slowly ending and I’m excited but scared. I have to take the ACT this year and begin searching for colleges. I know that I want to be a journalist and I’m already working toward that goal by being a features writer on my school’s newspaper. I’m reading so many books so I can take in a plethora of writing styles and hopefully find mine in the process.
I’m looking forward to falling back into the routine of school and the constant work, even if it feels like I’m drowning in it at times. I had a pretty tough last school year, so I hope this school year is better.
March 18, 2019
Today was a busy day to say the least. I’m currently on a college road trip with my mom, and we’re visiting 4 colleges known for their journalism programs.
Today, I visited Syracuse and fell in love with the school. It had the perfect mix of old and modern architecture, some of the buildings looked as though they had been taken right out of the Harry Potter books, which was actually a requirement I had for the college I want to go to. We started our day at Syracuse with a presentation from a current science professor. The slides contained great information about the school and we also watched a video showcasing the school’s goals for its students, as well as many on-
campus activities students can participate in.
After the presentation, tour guides broke up our group of about 90 people into even sections for a campus tour. We got to see through the eyes of two energetic students who both were majoring in journalism. We saw various buildings that house schools within the university (i.e. math, science), two libraries, a dining hall, dorm room, sports dome, church, and the journalism building.
Everything is state of the art, and I was blown away by how cozy everything felt. Syracuse has a lot to offer and I know I will definitely be applying :)
April 2, 2019
It’s been a week since I’ve come back from school and today we took the ACT. I didn’t study because this was my first time taking it, so I wanted to see how I would do with no preparation. I took the practice ACT in September and did okay on it, so I’m slightly worried about my score. Overall, the test went fine. I love English so the reading section was actually kind of fun and I enjoyed doing the grammar. Math is my weakest subject so I don’t feel confident about that section and science was just okay. I was exhausted after the test, but I went out to lunch with a group of my close friends because we were celebrating the 3rd year of us being friends. We had a lot of fun and it was nice catching up with all of them. After lunch, I went home and did about 6 hours of homework, which was tough. I got everything done though, so I managed to be productive despite being tired from the stress of my day.
Varvara
18 years old
Saransk, Russia
Tell us about your friends.
As for friends, recently I lost faith in the existence of female friendship. All those whom I have called my friends for a long time either betrayed me or simply left my life. The latest betrayal was especially painful, as it was probably the most unexpected. Perhaps there is only one person who allows me not to lose hope. This is Ksenia. She is close to me in spirit, and the nature of our beauty is similar (I mean that we do not look like typical Instagram girls). She is smart and intelligent, bright and bold, a go-getter and freedom-loving, and she also has a delicate and sensitive soul.